Week That Was. Edition 7.

NEET exam results were released and we saw new benchmarks being set for dowries. I wasn’t surprised to see Haryana on the list of better performing states though, how else can they continue winning at the annual “female foeticide” festival in India ? But these exams are gruelling, especially when you have to face half the population of Europe every summer.

This also happens to be the season of headlines like “Rickshaw wala’s son scores more than Sharma Ji’s son” or “ Girls outshine Boys once again”. I don’t know why the media pretends to be shocked every single year that the girls have fared better ! I mean if there is anything that boils down to the usage of an organ called brain, men are bound to fail.

Women always seem to be destined for supremacy, pick any girl from any class and she will pretend the earth is coming to an end because she scored just 98% in her exams. I have always been fascinated with their pencil box though, you will find an array of objects which are used for writing, highlighting, underlining or quoting Shakespeare in Math problems.
On the other spectrum lay the male species, you can ask them any question under the sun and you can feel the question bounce off their heads into oblivion. While growing up our only concern at any give time was how to control the bladder after getting hit in the balls, just before entering the restroom. Nothing much has changed since. Welcome to the week that was.

• Smriti Irani went from having a Yale Degree to BA from DU to just completing a year of B.Com through correspondence. I mean you lie on your resume you are most likely blacklisted by the company, but in our political system you are laughed at for having such trivial allegations.
  This episode also shun great light on the brilliance of the cabinet ministers too. Arun Jaitely who back then was the FM came out in defence of Smriti Ji by stating that Rahul Gandhi had completed his MPhil which wasn’t possible since he hadn’t completed his Masters yet. Let’s take a minute to bring ourselves back to consciousness!
  So people who seem to give a damn filled cases only for the court to come back and write LOL on their foreheads. Meanwhile I am unable to find my degree from Stanford, I hope my next employer doesn’t ask for a copy !
• India is in danger and am not saying that because another Bhai movie made shit tons of money and continues to call himself an actor!
  Just Google “Defamation Cases In U.P” and you WILL SEE THAT INDIA IS THE BEST COUNTRY IN THE UNIVERSE. WE ARE THE NEXT SUPER POWER AND OUR POLITICIANS ARE MAKING GROUND MAKING DECISIONS LIKE REVIVING ANTI ROMEO SQUAD AND PUTTING WATER ON A GLOBE TO CURB GLOBAL WARMING. JAI HIND!
  On a serious note it’s horrid that we call our selves democratic and then put our citizens wrongfully behind bars for voicing their opinions! Just because it butt hurt some politician it doesn’t qualify as defamation. India needs to revisit the IT act and laws around criminal defamation ASAP. A meme, a cartoon, a jibe, a criticism is not being anti national. People have languished in jails for months, been barred from colleges, beaten up in public for exercising their fundamental right. This matter should be headline material in every damn news outlet in the country but sadly we are busy with how Kohli was in awe of Dhonis Chakka !
• For a place which proudly wore “Jab tak Samose main rahega aalu, Bihar main rahega Lalu” on its chest it came as no surprise when another scam from their homeland was made into a movie.
  Bihar woke to the trailer of Super 30 and went “Hum kaale hai to kya hua, dilwale hai” and continued their daily routine of dacoity and kidnapping. But rest of India was not done with the fact that there exists a tanning machine in India which was called home by Hritik for a few months.
  But the biggest question that came out was why does Bollywood typecasts lower/middle class to resemble the first stage of a Fair n Lovely ad ?
• As usual I was late to the party. I backed out from watching “A Star is Born” last minute because I had some errands to run. Anyways, the movie recently resurfaced after the media aka the fans raked up the bond between the actors after the main lead split with his lady. Basically the plot is similar to Aashiqui 2 the only difference being it was made a lot better. The performances, the songs, the music everything seems so flawless that by the end of the movie I was sporting a Gaga t shirt with a wig which had atleast 28 colors on them. Give it a watch if you haven’t !
• I went through a period of PTSD recently after watching Chernobyl, it reminded me of my attempts at understanding Inorganic Chemistry back at school. I have always bracketed people people who love Chemistry under “STAY AWAY”. It’s one subject which I never understood.
  One summer in Mumbai my parents had my uncle (who happens to be a very senior figure at BARC) go through some concepts in Chemistry, it resulted in him diagnosing me as a victim of the Bhopal Gas Tragedy. He is a man of science, and expressed great disappointment and refused to speak to me for a while because I chose Commerce. He did eventually give in after I reminded him I was a victim of the Bhopal Gas Tragedy. But anyways fuck Chemistry !

That’s all for the week ! Hope you have a great time ahead of you !