The Week That Was : Edition 8

This article is dedicated to the two people who asked me “ Why aren’t you boring us with your blogs. Welcome to this weeks edition of DAFAQ.

• Hima Das is the flavour of the season. Anyone with a blue ticker mark on Twitter has wished “our” Hima Das for winning an incredible 5 gold medals over the last 20 days. Traditionally India has never fared well in T&F, so this brings in a sense of joy and hope for thousands of athletes across the country who are trying to educate people that cricket is not the only sport in India.
  But as the adulations start to settle down, some light is slowly being shun on the standard of the athletic meet she participated in. For starters the International Association of Athletics Federations (IAAF) graded the two out of the five races in which Hima competed in as “F” and the other three races an “E”.
  Now to simplify this and put to perspective, if the grading system is on a scale from 1 to 1–0 for a track event with 1 being the highest grade and 10 being the lowest, the E and F would come at 9 and 10 respectively. Infact these are levels where amateurs come and give it a shot because “I was free over the weekend”, also no “serious” athlete hops around meets in such short durations.
  While I give Hima credit for these amazing victories (not like if I didn’t it would hurt her achievement), I once again find myself doubting the standard of Indian media. In a race of “We broke the news first”, Indian media is again failing itself. Reports with hardly any sort of research or accountability is being laid out on a daily basis for us citizens to consume and this is very dangerous, especially for a country like India where we jump into conclusions very fast.
  Hima Das’s timing puts her at 125th in the 200 mts category and 74th in the 400 mts one worldwide. So if her dream is to qualify for the Olympics or the World Championship, a long journey awaits her but atleast this time around the whole country is with her. Jai Hind.
• India is known for it’s notoriety as tourists and a recent video that went viral showed us why. Alert and honest staff reprimanded a family for trying to get away with stolen items from the hotel. As usual we Indian’s tried to get away from it by nonchalantly mentioning “How much is it, I’ll pay for it”. But the highlight of the video for me was the aunty who admitted to taking out a container so she could store ACHAR in it!
  This honestly might the most cringey video I’ve come across all year and I usually do indulge in lot of shittery videos. On a parallel note, this is what I imagine would happen if I ever come across the family.
• *Cut to Restaurant *
  Scene 1 : Bali Returned family indulging in dinner.
  Scene 2 : Enter creep aka me.
  Scene 3 : Stare at the achar aunty with them dirty eyes
  Scene 4 : Man walks up to me and confronts me.
  Scene 5 : Push back and ask her if his wife is Esha Guptas fan !( For those uninitiated this darling is getting sued by a hotelier for being smart)
  Scene 6 : Man says “Pagal hain kya”
  Scene 7 : Finally admit my fault but try to walk away from the situation by nonchalantly mentioning “ How much is it, I’ll pay for it”.
  Scene 8: Man gets Deja Vu and gets into a trance and never returns.
  Scene 9 : I escape
  — — — — — — — — — — Scene Ends — — — — — — — — — —
• India is the host of the largest weed party in the world, they just give it a religious twist and call it the Kumbh Mela. As all would be aware, weed is illegal in India because some country in the west deemed it to be satanic and the irony being that very country is legalising weed while we hold on to our good old past.
  The last important person of prominence to speak about legalisation was Ramdev Baba, who left the conversation after his fans went “phoonk kar yoga karta hain be”. But a petition is now filed before the Delhi High Court to get it legalised and the judges who have filed it are one of the best lawyers in the country. One of them worked towards decriminalised homosexuality in India, the other argued the Sabarimala case and is renown IPR lawyer in the country. So my dream of smoking in a park in India without fear can become a reality. Fingers crossed !