The Week That Was : Edition 5.
Summers are brutal in Hyderabad, and the good news is it seems to be getting worse with each passing year.
So what is the best thing to do after running around town in this heat ? It’s simple, grab a pint and calm the demon inside with some chilled beer. The relief is unmatched, it’s like beer was made for Indian summers. Anyways one fine afternoon while I was collecting my beer when I had a brief but yet memorable encounter with a Transvestite and things went from 0 to 40 and back to 0 in 2 minutes flat.
TG : “Hi Darling, do you get drunk in a single beer”.
Me : “No, this is just to soothe the body from this heat”
*Giggles*
TG : “Whats your age ?”
Me : “24" ( I lie).
Doesn’t raise an eyebrow, raises both the eye brows.
TG : Oh, you look older.
Me : Yes, beer makes you look older ( Damn you Olay cream!)
TG : I can make you feel younger you know !
ME : No, I am fine looking old.
*Insert minute long awkward silence*
I finish paying for beer, and wave her good bye. Welcome to this weeks edition of The Week That Was !
- If I am on youtube, I am generally doing 2 things: One being ignoring the Youtube premium notifications and the other being scouring through videos of food been devoured by fat men who end up tagging their obesity as food lovers. While it’s a serious profession abroad, In India it’s kind of a filler when your resume doesn’t land you a decent enough job. One video had a reviewer say “They have food from the ocean in the basket that’s why it’s called Oceans Basket”. Someone shoot me in the balls or still worse make me watch the complete video.
The thing about coolness is it borderlines with cringeness and it’s very easy to cross the line. So when I opened this video which started with “Oiu oiu, Mothafucka”, it had me on the edge but boy did this series not disappoint. The show has Action Bronson walking around Paris with a legend whom I consider to be the greatest human alive right now : Clovis Ochin. They stumbled their way around Paris, drinking some of the best wine, smoking some of the best hash and eating food from people who are redefining the industry. To watch them live life to the fullest while getting shit faced as the day progresses is pure joy.
It’s become an unhealthy obsession where I rewatch this show in bits and pieces on a daily basis. If god comes to me and asks “ you have 20 minutes left and you can watch any youtube video”, I know my answer. It changed my perspective on how food should be reviewed and cherished. Meanwhile I someday hope to meet the town drunkard Clovis who in the name of wine tasting gets hammered and yet remains so charming. I think I may be in love with him. Please take some time and watch this 3 part series, it won’t disappoint.
- Being from the 90s era, you see how relationships have really turned the corner. Relationships are evolving, from writing lyrics of songs like “chalti hain kay 9 se 11”on sheets of paper which was duly submitted by the crush to the teacher to now where you are just a swipe away from getting an STD. So when my father asked me what the deal with tinder was, he was shocked after my brief explanation which involved me showing him a gif of 2 roses pecking each other.
- I recently learnt that the Union Health Ministry in 2010 sampled close to 1400 penises and came to a conclusion that our ego is bigger than our penis size. So they recommended smaller condoms and bigger cars, the exact term in Urban Dictionary is “Small Penis Car” or as as most Indians call it : “tu jaanta nahin mera baap haun hain”.
This perhaps the most abrupt and random edition of the week that was. I have been quite caught up with bunch of things which primarily involve speaking to TGs at thekas. So next time, little more effort will be put in and I promised myself to move away from politics unless the PM burns down the constitution which btw is a possibility. Cheers !
