Happy Fools Day
I was introduced to Urvashi Rautela only because Mr Boney Kapoor misunderstood the rules of the “Beat Pe Booty” challenge. Feminists were outraged on Twitter, and were out and about using words which were previously only heard from Suhel Seth, before the #metoo movement shut him down for good.
Feminist outrage on Twitter is like saying the sky is blue, you notice it but still carry on with your life. I am kidding and would like to apologise for jumping to conclusions, just like how they all did with Utsav Chakraborty.
Anyways let’s not deviate much from the topic of the day, Urvashi. She is a honest & humble person, I can simply tell by reading her bio on Instagram. I can also gather that there is now a limit to the number of characters available on the bio section of Instagram, thanks Urvashi !
Chapter One : Rat Poison tastes better.
Before we divulge further, there is one video that I would recommend to anyone who is inhaling O2 right now. If you have a fetish of watching mouths open only for noise to come out especially when the person is holding a mike, this is your wet dream come true :
Chapter Two : IIT Se Hoon, BC :
IIT’ians I hear usually have busy schedules and no one out there proves this point as much as Urvashi. She has no time for drafting her own tweets nor does she understand the complicated world of retweeting, she just copy pastes tweets of anyone and everyone who comes under her radar.
Special Mention : The one time she copy pasted Giggis Insta caption without giving her “caption credits”. #IITsehoonBC
Now coming to the IIT bit, there are a lot of disputes on which IIT was she in ? which year was she slaying Eng in ? So many unanswered questions in just that one damn bio.
Because of lot of free time I did some digging around in good old Quora (plz stay away from this shit hole) and found that she passed out from Gargi in DU, where she was later invited as a guest speaker and gushed over her college days. This revelation startled absolutely no one except for Modi and Smriti Irani who got curious on how she managed to pull this off. Be smart about it, like Urvashi.
Chapter Two : New Technology
She has had a string of relationships, which is bad because this doesn’t represent the morales and values of an ideal Indian woman. I did not say this btw, this article addressed it I feel.
After being denied access to Indian cricketer Pant’s pants, her spokesperson came out and mentioned that “It was a mutual decision to block one another (on phone/Whatsapp).”
I mean if you did not go KYA ? you haven’t been blocked on Phone/Whatsapp before, have you ? I have ample experience in this lock out scenario and can say with great certainty if there was an option of mutual blocking, I would have some amount of self respect left. But that’s a different conversation which I usually reserve for my counsellor or for anyone who has sat down for drinks with me for more than 4 mins.
Chapter Three : Logan Paul.
If cringe had a human face it would very likely look like Logan Paul (even Coronavirus I think), and when I heard he was scheduled to have a live video chat with our Urvashi there was no one more excited than me (in the entire history of the Universe, I promise). If you enjoy cringe, do give this a watch OR you could boost the views count of a random Youtuber who felt this was worthy of his time, like me. It’s 14 odd minutes and I say It’s worth it.
Chapter Four : Admission.
Ok bear with me, I am on my last leg of Urvashi sage. Urvashi has amassed aka bought 24M followers on Insta and follows back only 90. Of those lucky few, 2 of them are her fan pages and I hate to admit it but I subscribed to one of them called “urvashi_lover_sid”. This is the profile where I learnt fans of Urvashi are called “Urvashians” and more importantly her Jhumka + thumka = FAB !
Ok on final note I would like to tell her “ Take it easy Urvashi”, also I am actually done with life and regret spending so much time on her. Send help. Urgent.
According to the Hindu calendar it’s my birthday, such coincidence. But this also happens to be 4/20 month, so why not share some more cringey horrid memes I created.
* Please do not take offence, meant in good humor *
If anyone is wondering who exactly has been wiping their glasses for a second look. Here you go :
Have a fun filled 4/20 and stay safe lads !