Four Short Stories Edition : 1

• I once attempted the Art Of Living silent retreat, long before it got rebranded as Vipassana giving them a reason to charge half a kidney. What happens is basically you meditate all the day, and in your spare time you start digging holes so you can break out. By end of the day, a preacher would take questions from us students and would churn out the same advice : quit non veg, alcohol, women and do more Vipassana. This messaging hit me quite hard, I decided to quit Vipassana. So when the guards got in for their dinner, I made a dash for the gates, got home and spoke to anyone who had ears for the next two days. I did eventually get calls from the center, unfortunately it clashed with all the times when I was busy practicing Vipassana.

• Welcome to the season where the pores in your body speak to you, more than your therapist. I enjoy the idea of summers peddled by companies, where bikini clad women enjoy LGBT themed colored drinks in a yacht while being asked by chiseled men if they would like more lotion on their body, so the sun rays can reflect back to India. Somehow that seems to be the only logical reason why it’s so damn hot here.
  But it’s not all that bad, summer is the season of the beloved mangoes. But it’s all fun and games until you’re served a mango in a random social setting along with a fork and a knife. FYI these are the last of places for you to showcase how good you’re at peeling mangoes using only your toes. Yes I am speaking from experience!

• After ages, I sat down to see the Republic Day parade primarily to know who the president of the country is and what he sounded like. Republic Day is also used to showcase our deadliest weapons like nukes and BMWs piloted by Delhi ke launde. Hopefully next year they can truly showcase their talent by allowing them to drive against oncoming traffic.

• My cat just turned one and I want to celebrate it but telling you more about him. His name is Boo-Boo, the only cat to have the same first and last name. Promise.

Boo Boo has won the prestigious annual “Asshole cat of the year” award, twice in a single year. He loves talking to his Imaginary friends, chasing birds, an absolute foodie and at times sleeps with his tongue out, just like his father.

He is also very good at math, like I asked him once what’s 4–3 and he scribbled the answer down on my arm. I am yet to test him on larger numbers, but feel he is good enough.

Hope you enjoyed this edition of Four short stories! See you next week, hopefully with more math moments from the birthday boy Boo Boo!